Wearing a shirt, clinging to my soldier.

Posts tagged ‘love’

I want to do these someday with you

1. go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence

2. go to a major chain bookstore and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books

3. have her dress up as a ghost and you dress up us pacman. walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two, pretend to be embarrassed, and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka.”

4. create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen

5. dress up as superheroes and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”

6. build forts out of furniture and blankets and wage war with paper airplanes.

7. try and visit as many people as you can in one night and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can without them noticing.

8. go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.

9. write a piece of fiction together. outside at a cafe. ask strangers when you get stuck.

10. dress to the nines, pretend to be married, and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.

11. do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. have an unabashed good time!

12. in the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. bring a sun umbrella.

13. drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. with fake names.

14. go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. randomly cheer for both teams. eat lots of cracker jack.

15. go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things

16. walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras

17. with camera and pair of boots, make photo-log of a day in the life of the invisible man.

18. walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn

19. go to a restaurant and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.

20. rent a movie you’ve never seen before. set on mute and improvise dialogue

Phrases I would get tattooed if only I had enough skin…

“Love” and “Music” on left and right wrists respectively

Love is something I will always search for with all of my heart. it is one of the most important things to me in this world. To be loved for who I am and who I will always be.
Music is that sliver of my life no one can separate from me. Without my music, I would not exist how I am. I would be very plain, boring and not have any flavor at all. It was the number one punishment when I was a kid. Take away my music and you take away my soul.

“i carry your heart” over a small heart on my left hip

No matter how far away Matthew and I are, we carry each others hearts. Plus, that’s my favorite poem from e.e. cummings

“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not” on my right shoulder

Wanna talk about the quote that defines me the most? Kurt Cobain said it and it means the most to me by far. 🙂

“Never forget 9-11” on left forearm.

Needless to say, its the tenth anniversary of the attacks and it still affects me. I don’t know a world without war.

“No Day But Today” as a chest piece if I had the balls

Rent. ’nuff said.

“Aftermath is Secondary” on right calf

I might not have heard this phrase before the my chem album came out, but guess what? It kinda defines in retrospect what I seem to be thinking my whole live.

“Free at Last” with a empty birdcage on my right foot

My father has cancer and my grandmother a prisoner in her own body. This is to be done upon their deaths.

A flying dove and bald eagle on my left foot

The dove is grandma, the eagle my bullheaded father.

I’m on the edge of glory, hanging on a moment with you

I finally graduated. Finally! So here is a look back at my times in high school:

Freshman year:
September 24th: Drug tested
September 26th: Detention
October 31st: Halloween party at chruch
November 13th: Detention
December 11th: Pick up class ring
January 22nd: Failing Biology
January 24th: Cody cut in the bathroom and the jock like guys dragged him out of the bathroom.
February 19th: Cody OD’d.
February 25th: Went to Wendy’s with Shawn, Lindsey, Hope, Ethan, Ashley and Katie.
February 26th: Skipped class with Cody
February 27th: Choir tryouts at 15:30. Joy and Chrissy held an intervention.
February 28th: Was going to commit suicide, however Chris asked me out, so I gave him a chance.
March 1st: Went to Vantage Point with Chris
March 8th: Shawn’s birthday party
March 19th: Dentist appointment
March 27th: Pierced belly button, went to Def Leppard, REO Speedwagon and Styx concert.
April 19th: Watched Prom Night with Chris
May 1st: Skipped class
May 17th: Chris came to singsation party and left super early
May 22nd: Detention
May 24th: Molly and Kaitlyn’s grad party
May 29th: Detention

Sophomore Year:
August 2nd: Chris went to Indiana Beach with Joe where Joe told Chris’s grandparents that we are engaged.
August 6th: Chris back
August 11th: Picked up Tiffany
August 14th: Chris told parents about engagement
August 16th: Told my mom. Ashley’s wedding.
September 1st: Went to Labor Day cook out with Chris and Joe
September 16th: Detention
September 19th: Great Times Youth Lock In with Chris
October 13th: Chris “proposed”
October 15th: Kinda sorta kissed Steve
October 25th: Went to Halloween party.
October 29th: Laser tag.
November 8th: Went to HSM3 with Joy, Chrissy, and Gabby
December 5th: Mr. Gallion’s wife had her baby
December 17th: Chris is bisexual and has been cheating on me.
December 23rd: Chris and Joe had sex again.
January 20th: Obama inauguration.
January 31st: Went to Snowball. Chris didn’t hardly dance with me therefore it was pointless that I even went.
February 14th: Chris and Joe. Again.
February 15th: JJ’s baby shower for Micheal.
February 28th: One year with Chris. JJ gave birth via C-section
March 26th: Lost my cellphone
April 2nd: Went to Brittany’s birthday party
April 6th: Car crashed into school
May 16th: Went to see Obsessed with Kelsey
May 29th: Gallion booted me up to Emerald Suite

Junior Year:
August 4th: Went to Indiana Beach with Chris. Lost virginity.
August 7th: Came home.
August 23rd: Went to see Time Traveler’s Wife.
September 10th: Detention
September 12th: Choreography
September 30th: Horseback Riding
October 9th: McDonalds interview
October 13th: Get work permit
October 14th: McDonalds orientation
October 29th: Went to see Cirque du Freak with Chris
November 4th: Applebee’s lamp fell on my head. Gained a concussion.
November 10th: Detention
January 20th: Dehydrated and low iron = Anemic
February 5th: Matt called me to tell me that I couldn’t work.
February 28th: 2 Years with Chris
April 22nd: Got drivers liscense.
May 1st: SAT Test
May 6th: Broke up with Chris… Violently.
May 8th: Went to Prom and started dating Steve.
May 28th: Went to Cedar Point
June 10th: Went to POTO
June 15th: Left for DUNAMIS!

Senior Year:
June 29th: Started dating Matt
June 30th: Caught trying to go on a date with Matt
July 17th: Matt left for AT
July 29th: Matt came home
August 7th: Left for Pigeon Forge
August 13th: Took Matt’s virginity
August 21st: Spent night with Matt
August 29th: Matt went to hospital
September 17th: Homecoming Parade
September 22nd: Found out about deployment
October 22nd: Dad has cancer.
October 26th; Grandma slipped into coma
November 3rd: Broke Matt’s texting.
November 8th: Saw Mike for first time in forever
November 25th: Matt came over for Thanksgiving.
January 7th: Board Opping
January 19th: EKG, and have to get ultrasounds
January 22nd: Caitlin and Brandy’s party
January 25th: Ultrasound
January 28th: Matt called away to Louisiana
January 29th: Placed silver at ISSMA
February 2nd: ICEPOCALYPSE!!!
February 4th: Picked Caitlin up from Muncie and got Taco Bell chucked at me.
February 10th: Jace’s surgery
February 12th: Picked up Matt from airport!
February 14th: Matt bought me a necklace for Doomsday.
February 19th: Went on a date with Matt to the PX and Applebees.
March 18th: Kaitlyn degraded me.
April 16th: My Pure Romance Party
April 19th: Made prom happen for Jake and Viki
April 28th: Got nails done
May 2nd: Bin Laden killed
May 6th: Friday School
May 7th: Went to Prom with Matt and ate Rally’s. Post prom sucked so we bought Sims 3 instead.
May 26th: Choral Awards Night.
May 29th: Indy 500. Matt lost phone and I got sunburned.
June 2nd: Bomb threat
June 4th: Graduation Party
June 5th: Commencement
June 6th: Went to the zoo.

Why Are You Running Away?

In this video, Alexis first asks gays why are they walking away from God. Which is understandable and I get it so I’m watching but Alexis has this way of breaking the fourth wall. And as I’m sitting here, watching this video all I can think is “Why am I running away from him?”

God loves me so much he let his son die by human hands in the most painful way imaginable and let him suffer for a bunch of humans who would never know that kind of pain and all so they did not have to burn forever as long as they believe in Christ and spread his word in hopes that more can be saved. And each time I remember this, I swear to myself I’ll be a better Christian. I’ll meet God’s standards and then I fall so short in his glory and his mercy and love that I feel discouraged. If I can’t be the strong woman God has called me to be, why am I even trying? Why don’t I just give up?

And this brings me to tears and I start to curse myself on the inside because its just one more place that I fail. I fail CONSTANTLY.

I curse.

I disobey my parents.

I get angry.

I commit premarital sex on a near daily basis while trying to justify it by telling myself that we will be married someday (and that does nothing for my self esteem or self image but it feels good so I do it anyways…)

I am a glutton.

I gossip.

I lie.

I don’t say the pledge of alliegance (which, okay, isn’t a sin but sometimes it feels like it.)

I let my mind wander and have homosexual urges.

I sin on a daily basis and still wake up every morning and read a poster to remind myself that God loves me as I can smell the sins rolling off of my body and pooling at my feet.

I don’t pray before eating or sleeping.

I don’t read my bible except when I must.

And when people come to me, confide in me about their lives and in honesty ask me to pray for them, I never fucking do.


I am so set in my sinful ways I can’t even be bothered to be a good Christian… Or even a decent one.

I am not dating a fellow Christian. These dogtags are marked No-Pref. Part of me wishes he was because if there is some form of God in this world, I would want to see him again after death has taken us a part. But in Heaven we are all brothers and sisters of Christ. Not husband and wife and we will not recognize each other as we have been given a new and holy life. So all we have on earth are these memories.

A memory is as false or as true as you rememeber it and as life goes on, our memories fail.

I don’t know where this is leading but I am so scared right now and I’m alone with my thoughts crashing around me. I could use someones advice on so much. Like how can I accept or dismiss loosing my father and grandmother? Or make my boyfriend see that marriage isn’t just a promise he’ll be there tomorrow but a way to make me feel like I’m not completely disobeying God?

Well, time will tell… For now, I must wipe my tears, pet dear old Zelda here and get to work in a few. But I have a lot to think about. So here goes.

Chocolate Cake

Matt and I always make fun of this. Always. So I thought I would share.

Pure Romance

In the spirit, although passed, of Valentines day, I would like to throw in a well-deserved spot to one of my friends. And with all the news of deployments, its a great idea to stock up on those battery operated boyfriends. Not that anyone complains too much (who can love you more than yourself).

So heres a good, decent list of things on my *wishlist* and a pretty basic description.

To start out, this is Coochy. Its a shaving cream, mostly for your bikini line and those irritating (literally!) bumps. It smells amazing, works great and on top of all of that, makes your hair amazingly soft. It also can be used on your guy to shave his face but most don’t want to smell… Well, girly. So there is a male version. The female Coochy comes in great scents like grapefruit, green tea, pear berry, pomegranate and, of course, an original scent. Definitely should be on your “to buy” list.

Now this is a bad-ass item. Matthew and I love LOVE candles. Seriously. And this is a soy based candle. Key word? Wax becomes massage oil that doesn’t, shall we say, stick or dry. Which is key. Especially since after a massage one of two things happens… Sleep or sex. The oils in the candle make your skin softer and it never gets above body temp… NO BURNS! 😀 It’ll give you about 20 massages which is awesome. And totally sets the mood for a romantic night in. I suggest pairing it with a fluffy robe, bubble bath, spaghetti and, of course, soft candlelight.

Pheromones are amazing little things that guide your sex drive. That is known. In Basic Instinct, there is a unisex pheromone that reacts to your copulis (the female pheromone that we excrete natural to attract men) and a mans androstenone. In plain English, you will smell sexy. You will feel sexy. And it will pay off. A waitress using Basic Instinct can get higher tips. (We all could use a bit of that). Also, sex hormones relax those around you, potentially de-escalating a sticky situation. Best of all, it blends in with your lotion and perfume seamlessly. Good places to apply this is to the pulse point on neck and wrists, behind the ears and onto the collar bone.

Vanilla Bondage. Seems like a scary title and looks just like an ice cream tub. (Yum… Ice cream.) What it really is, is a bunch of silky ties and a blindfold in a neat, hide-able package. And for beginners in the bondage world, its absolutely perfect. The ties can be easily chilled by being put in the freezer for a few minutes or wrapped around a bag of heated rice to be warm against the skin. And can I mention, its vanilla scented? But don’t take my word for all of it… Try it yourself!

Body Bling. Its a glowing, bronzing powder that shimmers ever so slightly. But then all night it can be nibbled and licked and it still stays so silkily glittery in that simple, feminine way. You can mix it with your favorite clear lip gloss and make this neutral lip gloss that tastes amazing. The flavors in this wonderful gem is vanilla and cinnamon (like the sweet cinnamon in your cinna-toast, not like the jar in your cabinet).

Sadly, we might not always be in the mood to immediately get at it and go. We have depression medications, birth control and stress that severely dampens our sex drives. Say. No. More. X-Scream is a very… ahem… Rollercoaster cream to boost your drive with a mint base. When you begin your foreplay, a little dab on your clitoris and upon your man should do just the trick and next thing you know… You get the picture. It comes in bubble gum, cool mint, chocolate and vanilla frosting. Its a pretty high dosage and there are two lower ones. One of them is for those sensitive to these kinds of creams and the other for people who aren’t familiar with these creams yet. A 1 oz. bottle is about 3 months worth of product.

The “dirty deed” is done. And now, you have a wet spot the size of China and you both are tired. You do the fight for the dry side and one of you ends up landing in it, kinda cringing. Well, cringe no more my friend. Between the Sheets is AMAZING. It takes that doomed wet spot and dries it up like magic, giving your sheets this silky, pheromone enriched feeling. And it doesn’t just do that, but also can be used as a subtle air fresher for your home, office, car or any where you need it. It doesn’t stain your sheet and comes in scents like Seductive Sage, Fresh, and Pure Cotton. (The Sage smells AMAZING!)

Last but not least is my favorite item as of recently, and I cannot get enough of it. (Honestly!)

I had a little bottle from a sample. Just one little bottle. The flavor has been discontinued (aww… Bye bye Blueberry!!) but it is by far a favorite of mine at least. (And he didn’t complain… 🙂 ) To start, its a little cool and with a bit of friction, it gradually warms up. It doesn’t burn, just a pleasant warm tingle which is air activated. Its safe on poly-urethane condoms and inside of our very pH balanced vaginas. It is sugar free but totally doesn’t taste like it. Its about four months worth of product in a 4 oz. tube but if you’re like me… It ain’t gonna last that long with mouthwatering flavors like candy apple, hot buttered rum, cocoa, original, peppermint patty, spice is nice and strawberries and whipped cream. Its all natural and totally will blow both of your minds.

On their website they have many different toys and product available that I couldn’t even begin to name. They have dual actions that are nothing short of mind blowing and a few items to not only spice up your sex life, but send it hurtling into space.

So heres a pretty good deal. If you order from my dearest friend Amanda, she will have your item to you as soon as possible and with a 10% discount by saying you heard from this site. You can book parties if you are local and if you are across the country it is no problem. It will get to you I promise! She can give you more specials and deals (trust me, she always has at least 1 hiding somewhere) and that is only available if you call, text or email her. By ordering off of the website in general, you cannot receive any form of discount.

So here’s her contact information. Get in touch, have fun and remember to always love yourself FIRST!


Call or Text: 765-602-5979

Her personal consultant page:
Amanda Brault for Pure Romance

And the shop:
Shop Now!

Have a wonderful night from this MWIT,