Wearing a shirt, clinging to my soldier.

Posts tagged ‘dreams’

The Wedding Hoopblah is OVER! (Normal Life May Now Resume)

Yay for no more wedding stuff! I was almost heart wrenching to watch all of this unfold. Just too many rings flying around all willy-nilly. I know it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that I am upset. It doesn’t matter if anyone cares. But the truth is I want a promise. A guaranteed future for myself. And the other night, I snapped.

Prety nasty. Especially towards girls who are my friends. But thats the entire problem. They are my friends.

One is a free spirit. She cut her hair on a whim and looks for a great time, wherever she is. She doesn’t have set plans and career is always first for her. Always, always, always. Her boyfriend wants commitment and she agreed half heartedly, knowing he’s not the one for her. If I remember right, there is a 2013 wedding in the mix for these two.

Another one has been by his side for 3 years, almost as long as he has been in the Army. And they fight like cats and dogs. No one is ever right, they are not considerate of the others feelings and the second he heard about deployment, he proposed. They are getting married on Halloween, I believe.

She hadn’t even been with him for 6 months when on Christmas day, he asked her to marry him before his deployment. Now she’ll be a junior while he goes to basic and on December 3rd, 2012, they’ll tie their own knot.

There is the uber feminist that shaved her head because she wanted to, but not her legs. She has been with her guy for about two years, give or take a while and wears tie dye sweat pants to school. No denying that she has an amazing personality, but also a set 2012 wedding.

These girls, plus many others with less than favorable relationships, are all engaged. They have what I crave with my heart because a marriage is my dream. I want to be a housewife with all of my heart and yet these girls are somehow getting it… HOW!?!

I proposed to Matt too… Ring and all. He just looked at me and said “Someday.” I ask near constantly, taking it in my hands and I don’t even… UGH!

I’ve told him, if he doesn’t want marriage to just tell me. I just want a commitment. I even brought up handfasting. He said it sounded too much like a wedding… At least I tried to make a compromise. Right?