Wearing a shirt, clinging to my soldier.

Archive for June, 2011

My favorite show. :)

One Summer Later (A Through Introduction)


Name is Breanna. I love coca cola and corn on the cob slathered in butter and salt. I love a nice steady breeze on a 70 degree day and a sweet tea in my cup holder. My music has to be louder than my cell phone, always. I love orange, lime and lemon fruit slices because the cherry ones suck. I can’t tan and almost every piercing I have ever gotten seems to reject until I switch the gaging of the jewelry. I don’t have the highest self esteem but it certainly gets me by.

On a typical day I wear jeggings or shorts with a layered top and most of the time, my clothing has an army theme. Why? Because the love of my life, Matthew Jay Scott, is in the Army National Guard. You can normally find me carrying my large ACU bag. I am obsessed with my bosom buddy (a menthol based nip and lip cream the fixes all cracks in lip and nip due to drying out) and life in general.

I am a planner by nature and it has been joke about that I can plan a wedding in three months or less and it would still turn out to be completely amazing. I love the way that happens near constantly.

I hate cramps and low gas tanks. Dumb customers and lazy drivers. I hate sleeping alone, and cancer. I hate PTSD. I hate the need to be friends with everyone. I hate when people ask me “When are you getting married?” or “Where is your ring?”. I hate trying to explain why I can’t give a straight answer. I hate his “family”‘s desire to keep him trapped in the box of the Matthew they knew in high school. I hate how he sometimes picks what they want, over me.

This is who I am. Honest and true. I am not a nice person, I will lead you on and break your heart. I am not stable, for I need your support. I am not “immature, straight out of high school, never dealt with life brat”. And if you assume that about me, I will show you how much of a bitch I can really be. But to those who know me, I am far from the “high schooler lost in an adult world”.

Thanks for reading.

Phrases I would get tattooed if only I had enough skin…

“Love” and “Music” on left and right wrists respectively

Love is something I will always search for with all of my heart. it is one of the most important things to me in this world. To be loved for who I am and who I will always be.
Music is that sliver of my life no one can separate from me. Without my music, I would not exist how I am. I would be very plain, boring and not have any flavor at all. It was the number one punishment when I was a kid. Take away my music and you take away my soul.

“i carry your heart” over a small heart on my left hip

No matter how far away Matthew and I are, we carry each others hearts. Plus, that’s my favorite poem from e.e. cummings

“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not” on my right shoulder

Wanna talk about the quote that defines me the most? Kurt Cobain said it and it means the most to me by far. 🙂

“Never forget 9-11” on left forearm.

Needless to say, its the tenth anniversary of the attacks and it still affects me. I don’t know a world without war.

“No Day But Today” as a chest piece if I had the balls

Rent. ’nuff said.

“Aftermath is Secondary” on right calf

I might not have heard this phrase before the my chem album came out, but guess what? It kinda defines in retrospect what I seem to be thinking my whole live.

“Free at Last” with a empty birdcage on my right foot

My father has cancer and my grandmother a prisoner in her own body. This is to be done upon their deaths.

A flying dove and bald eagle on my left foot

The dove is grandma, the eagle my bullheaded father.

What’s important to me on my big day… Hmm?

^.^ I’m gonna get a little happy here. Don’t ruin it.

1. I understand people like love to facebook, myspace, twitter, tumblr, and all other sort of techie goodness, and these have times and places to happen. NOT AT MY WEDDING! From the moment I walk in, that photographer is the only to capture my happiness. Not your DAMN iPHONE! So if you wanna be safe, there will be a bucket under your chair. Turn the device off and drop it in there. THANK YOU.

2. I would love to be outdoors. Nice breeze and taking a chance on some rain. So what? If it rains, it rains. Bring an umbrella, be prepared. Have some sunblock also. This is Indiana, not Miami.

3. Attendants. Good idea, excellent bodyguards but why would I take more people out of Matt’s side than I need to? He will have so very few coming to the wedding… bringing me to….

4. FUCK THE SIDES! All the time I see brides on one side and grooms on the other and the need for it to be all perfect and even. HELL to the FUCK NO! You guys will sit together, in your little friend groups AS ONE! I don’t care if Uncles Tom, Dick, and Harry can’t see my ass as I walk up the center, the point is that I want you to realize that like it or not, you are brought here to be poured in the same melting pot as Matthew and I and you may not like it but dammnit you will have to face each other someday so suck it up and deal with it!

5. Oh and if it does rain, thats fine. We love the rain. I would love to be married in the rain or at a pool… Or in the pool… And if you wanna tell me in that sad pleading voice that I will ruin my hair, dress, makeup etc…. I. DON’T. CARE! I’m making my own dress anyways, I know my hair will eventually end up a mess and my make up is no big deal because no matter what I am always the strong, beautiful woman he loves for who she is.

6. I want to be able to invite and not invite who we choose. Not invited? Suck my dick. I don’t give a fuck. Obviously if you didn’t receive that pretty piece of paper, then I don’t care. People I have a budget to meet and that budget does not include Aunt Mary’s sister’s son-in-law’s cousin with the five bajillion kids.

7. If I tell you the children have their own area to be in, and your child is with the adults, they better be acting like an adult or I will throw said child over my shoulder caveman style and drop them in the specified area. Its not Matt and I’s day for nothing. I most likely made that area available because consumption of alcohol and dirty deeds were being done and I wanted to shield a childs mind.

8. I could give less of a damn of your suggestions of what you think is appropro. I really don’t care. The wedding seems to be coming out of our pockets and unless you are paying for something, sit back and be glad it isn’t you planning. Enjoy the art, the festivities and the laughter while you can.

9. To certain people, this marks the end of him being their child like friend and very possibly being the first one to commit himself to an institution that they find unfair. i have toyed with the idea of supporting gay rights in my wedding and cannot do it. It is not because I am against the gay rights movement, or are close minded to the fact that they deserve a marriage as legally defined by the state. I feel as a person that rights we have fought for do not truly exist. In the beginning the Puritans left Britain so that they could be free to express their views and religion. Had it not been for the Native Americans, they would quickly turn to cannibalism and die out. Instead, after accepting native help in many circumstances, they pushed the Native Americans to a small portion out west and to the extreme south and let them die without mercy. All rights belonged to white, male land owners. When slaves became a part of it, slaves began pushing in the late 1800’s, early 1900’s against the hand that oppressed them. The eventually won, as we well know, with help of Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr., the very figures we have studied for years on end. Womens rights, if I recall correctly, was last to evolve and to this day is not complete. There are two sides to that; the females who believe we are still not equal and the females who say enough is enough. If a female really wanted equality, instead of asking a man to do something, she would “man up” and do it herself. Like opening the door, or carrying large boxes. Chivalry would become obsolete as no “damsel’s in distress” would exist; just bull headed women with a will to succeed. (I don’t know where this all came from… O.O)

10. At my wedding you may find references to any and possibly all of the following. This is your ONLY WARNING.
a. Taps
b. The Japanese anime/manga, xxxHoLic
c. Katy Perry’s song, “Teenage Dream”
d. Lady GaGa
e. iPhones
f. Camping
g. The Japanese anime/manga, Naruto
h. Straighteners
i. Trash left around the apartment
j. Kittens
k. The Japanese anime/manga, Death Note
l. Star Wars (All of them)
m. OffBeatBride.com
n. Build-a-Bear
o. McDonalds
p. Any Japanese anime or manga in all honesty.
q. Handfasting
r. Legend of Zelda
s. Fate or Diablo (video games ^.^)
t. The military
u. Spiderman
v. Tie-Dye
w. Cupcakes!
x. Friday the 13th
y. Candles
z. The Candy Shop
za. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
zb. Ketchup packets

This and many more are things you may hear about. Like I said, this is your only warning.

11. I fully intend to have some funky things happening. It is your job to pretend that this is normal.


I’m on the edge of glory, hanging on a moment with you

I finally graduated. Finally! So here is a look back at my times in high school:

Freshman year:
September 24th: Drug tested
September 26th: Detention
October 31st: Halloween party at chruch
November 13th: Detention
December 11th: Pick up class ring
January 22nd: Failing Biology
January 24th: Cody cut in the bathroom and the jock like guys dragged him out of the bathroom.
February 19th: Cody OD’d.
February 25th: Went to Wendy’s with Shawn, Lindsey, Hope, Ethan, Ashley and Katie.
February 26th: Skipped class with Cody
February 27th: Choir tryouts at 15:30. Joy and Chrissy held an intervention.
February 28th: Was going to commit suicide, however Chris asked me out, so I gave him a chance.
March 1st: Went to Vantage Point with Chris
March 8th: Shawn’s birthday party
March 19th: Dentist appointment
March 27th: Pierced belly button, went to Def Leppard, REO Speedwagon and Styx concert.
April 19th: Watched Prom Night with Chris
May 1st: Skipped class
May 17th: Chris came to singsation party and left super early
May 22nd: Detention
May 24th: Molly and Kaitlyn’s grad party
May 29th: Detention

Sophomore Year:
August 2nd: Chris went to Indiana Beach with Joe where Joe told Chris’s grandparents that we are engaged.
August 6th: Chris back
August 11th: Picked up Tiffany
August 14th: Chris told parents about engagement
August 16th: Told my mom. Ashley’s wedding.
September 1st: Went to Labor Day cook out with Chris and Joe
September 16th: Detention
September 19th: Great Times Youth Lock In with Chris
October 13th: Chris “proposed”
October 15th: Kinda sorta kissed Steve
October 25th: Went to Halloween party.
October 29th: Laser tag.
November 8th: Went to HSM3 with Joy, Chrissy, and Gabby
December 5th: Mr. Gallion’s wife had her baby
December 17th: Chris is bisexual and has been cheating on me.
December 23rd: Chris and Joe had sex again.
January 20th: Obama inauguration.
January 31st: Went to Snowball. Chris didn’t hardly dance with me therefore it was pointless that I even went.
February 14th: Chris and Joe. Again.
February 15th: JJ’s baby shower for Micheal.
February 28th: One year with Chris. JJ gave birth via C-section
March 26th: Lost my cellphone
April 2nd: Went to Brittany’s birthday party
April 6th: Car crashed into school
May 16th: Went to see Obsessed with Kelsey
May 29th: Gallion booted me up to Emerald Suite

Junior Year:
August 4th: Went to Indiana Beach with Chris. Lost virginity.
August 7th: Came home.
August 23rd: Went to see Time Traveler’s Wife.
September 10th: Detention
September 12th: Choreography
September 30th: Horseback Riding
October 9th: McDonalds interview
October 13th: Get work permit
October 14th: McDonalds orientation
October 29th: Went to see Cirque du Freak with Chris
November 4th: Applebee’s lamp fell on my head. Gained a concussion.
November 10th: Detention
January 20th: Dehydrated and low iron = Anemic
February 5th: Matt called me to tell me that I couldn’t work.
February 28th: 2 Years with Chris
April 22nd: Got drivers liscense.
May 1st: SAT Test
May 6th: Broke up with Chris… Violently.
May 8th: Went to Prom and started dating Steve.
May 28th: Went to Cedar Point
June 10th: Went to POTO
June 15th: Left for DUNAMIS!

Senior Year:
June 29th: Started dating Matt
June 30th: Caught trying to go on a date with Matt
July 17th: Matt left for AT
July 29th: Matt came home
August 7th: Left for Pigeon Forge
August 13th: Took Matt’s virginity
August 21st: Spent night with Matt
August 29th: Matt went to hospital
September 17th: Homecoming Parade
September 22nd: Found out about deployment
October 22nd: Dad has cancer.
October 26th; Grandma slipped into coma
November 3rd: Broke Matt’s texting.
November 8th: Saw Mike for first time in forever
November 25th: Matt came over for Thanksgiving.
January 7th: Board Opping
January 19th: EKG, and have to get ultrasounds
January 22nd: Caitlin and Brandy’s party
January 25th: Ultrasound
January 28th: Matt called away to Louisiana
January 29th: Placed silver at ISSMA
February 2nd: ICEPOCALYPSE!!!
February 4th: Picked Caitlin up from Muncie and got Taco Bell chucked at me.
February 10th: Jace’s surgery
February 12th: Picked up Matt from airport!
February 14th: Matt bought me a necklace for Doomsday.
February 19th: Went on a date with Matt to the PX and Applebees.
March 18th: Kaitlyn degraded me.
April 16th: My Pure Romance Party
April 19th: Made prom happen for Jake and Viki
April 28th: Got nails done
May 2nd: Bin Laden killed
May 6th: Friday School
May 7th: Went to Prom with Matt and ate Rally’s. Post prom sucked so we bought Sims 3 instead.
May 26th: Choral Awards Night.
May 29th: Indy 500. Matt lost phone and I got sunburned.
June 2nd: Bomb threat
June 4th: Graduation Party
June 5th: Commencement
June 6th: Went to the zoo.