Wearing a shirt, clinging to my soldier.

Archive for July, 2010

In the Hills and Highlands (Wake, My Heart)

We laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling, content in each others presence. I never told you about the phantom pain in my wrist, or the slightly spiritual part of me that said someone I loved was in great pain. (By the way, the song you’re hearing me hum is “Saltwater Room” by Owl City).

And in your makeshift home, our lips crashed together, melted and fused two souls. I checked my phone a little after every beep just to see who exactly was texting me. It was always facebook but we both kinda hoped it was my father allowing more time. In fact, if I had my way, you’d be asleep and I’d be curled up in your arms, ever the insomniac and overthinking the simple promises you make.

Its been a month since we announced everything. You realize that? Well, not precisely. The day it really was a month we were busy having our first conversation in 2 weeks. A lot of late night talks and ice cream got me through that. (Ooooh trust me. I RAIDED MARSHS!)

I wish the winter was back around. The heat kills me inside, and I just want to bundle up next to you and watch the fat flakes fall outside. Perhaps even dive into it myself. As long as you and some hot chocolate awaits me, I’d be fine.

I’ve had these dreams about winter lately. (Winter is my favorite season. It suits me.) A yellow and brown house on the corner, with an oak tree. One bathroom, three bedrooms. Brown carpeting, a garage, and parquet wood tiling. Fenced back yard and huge side lawn. It is the home I grew up in. Sometimes it used to snow so much that the door could hardly open, so we’d stay inside. And I would sit at the window, staring at the yard, wishing someone was awake so that I may play.

But nevermind that, caught in memories of happy places. It was us this time. In the same damn community I grew up in. A long dark brown haired, smiling daughter (I swear, she was so much like you…)  who wore her pink Hello Kitty jacket in pride as she marched through the snow to the bus. The same bus stop I stood at nearly 20 years before. Her brother chasing after her, tossing snow balls. I woke and I thought how weird it was. It’s not like its my first dream but that seemed to be just a fragment of something I was missing. I felt like I was missing this huge puzzle piece. And then I realized it was you.

See, right now, if you read this entire blog, I’d be kinda embarrassed. Theres so many shades of my soul on display here. Theres duty, hope, love, and the future. And thats off the top of my head.

I want so much I feel like I may burst. But I wouldn’t fast forward these moments for anything. This is all I have.

So sleep on, dream on. Make contented sounds. Listen to me subconsciously giggle and sigh as I type. Practically blow UP my cheeks when I puff them in frustration when words elude me, or I can’t figure out how to spell elude.

And btw, yes, I keep repeating “I love you.” Get over it, kindly.

Loud and clear?

More like nice and silent. You dropped by my work today, love. In your ACUs. And my heart stopped. I halfway wished you’d smile but, my hopes were slowly dashed. My chest pain was horrid all day and most said it was anxiety of wanting you home. I agree, but I’ve had them long before now.

Halfway asleep in the back of your van, Frank woke you by ripping open the door. I watched you wake and laughed. When he the proceeded to open the door you hid behind, the brightest part of my soul was when you told him to “Move it.” So I’d have a clear running shot…jump…thing into your arms.

I’ve missed you every day, if this blog is ANY testament.

My dreams, they are plentiful enough to make up for yours. You are my dream.

My choices, they have been cemented in my heart. Please, make yours.


So, work was all right today, but the most amazing thing happened.

My phone rang.

And it was no ordinary call…

It was my Soldier.

My heart leapt, I stopped breathing, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say I died.

A twelve minute conversation… Wow… *smiles*

Free Verse

Stupidity for Love

Headphones in her ears,
She speeds down country roads.
Maybe if she just presses the gas,
A cop won’t notice she’s going 80,
Down a 45.

Her soul beats like a crow,
Chasing a camouflaged butterfly.
Her mouth is dry, as she refuses to take a hand off the wheel.
Life in risk.
Dying for one more kiss.



Forever Mine

Existing in embrace

Elated hope and happiness




Singing in the shower
One of his favorite past times when
Love grabs him by the scruff of his neck.
Demanding his time,
Is the girl curled up on the couch.
Even though a word is never spoken from her lips
Reverence fill her body at his slightest kiss.

Carpe Diem

Lemonade, Love and Poetry

She sits crossed legged,

Feeling good about the storm outside,

Feeling peaceful in a tank top and Christmas pants in the midst of July heat,

Scene hair in a pony tail, she drinks lemonade,

Pens out poetry on a decrepit desktop,

And feeling the words flowing out of her fingers in a predictable stream.

She feels at home,

Even when he isn’t.

She feels perfect and beautiful,

Because she tells herself so.

Two hands grasping the neck of a future she craves,

She won’t let these words escape her now.

She’s got a heart of gold,

And a mind trap of steel.

Blood flowing through her veins,

Its screaming “CARPE DIEM!”

So she kisses him long and full.

Her soldier tastes the coconut rum,

And falls deeper in love.


White Dreams, Several Scenes

Hair perfectly curled,
Lips painted a shade of red,
Her smile bringing hope.
In a white dress, she’s in love.
For once, her pained past is gone.

His tie is straight,
His eyes focused on his bride.
Heart chomping harshly,
At his self imposed bit; Smile.
Because his future is here.

Two hands interlaced.
Two hearts willing to be tied.
Lips touch, and create fire.
She can’t turn away from him.
He can’t stand to forget her.


She picks up markers,
A few strokes creates a masterpiece,
On her mother back and fathers face.


Capture Me

In a room so warm, she whispers
“Capture me…”
He wonders what she means,
but thinks its only a dream.
Until she whispers again,
“Capture me…”

She hands him a camera,
“Capture me!”
And her laugh floats on a breeze.
Piña colada scented, Miami speeds,
“Capture me!”

She dives behind trees,
“Capture me.”
Sending a challenge to the twins she birthed,
Both his pride and joy,
“Capture me.”