The Military and Me

This is the National Guard insignia. Out of all of the military symbols I have grown to respect, this one is my entire heart. This symbol is his life… At least until he gets out.

He being my Matthew. I’ve seen milspouses call their husbands G.I. Joe, “M”, the DH, and many other but theres something about that. He isn’t just a soldier. It took me a while to start realizing that online but… he isn’t his title. He is my Matthew.

We met through work… Me in my red crew shirt and him in a management gig. He has been there for 8 years now, and my measly “working on 2” pales in comparison. We would joke around on slow nights and I honestly thought he was a total fruitcake. Guess not right? We have bonded over ketchup, pokemon and George of the Jungle. Our first kiss was a total surprise and totally justified.

But I didn’t know about the military. Not until after we started dating.

If I had payed attention… I would’ve noticed.

But I sat down in that apartment and looked around when he wasn’t home. Boots by the door. ACUs on the floor. National Guard pack by the TV. I felt… Lost.

It was a whole new world I had no idea about.

And I was scared.

A world of questions and what if’s. Until he asked me one thing.

Could I deal with the knock on the door?

To be honest… I’m still not sure. But I am positive I will always be by this mans side. Until death do we part.

Get Ready to RANT!

OK. So Matt is in training right now and its some of the biggest BS I can think of. The apartment complex knows that he’s in the Bayou on orders and still they wanna bitch at him…

He made out a money order for his rent, but the people in the office ripped it up. And they let him know the day before he left (pretty much) and leaving him with no way to get them the rent. So I’ve been looking at apartment after apartment but being in the heartland theres not many here unless we head into Indianapolis. And that can’t happen. For one, I have school here, and in a near by town. He has his job here, and a damn good one for fast food. I can get whatever I can, preferably Starbucks or shit like that. Not a lot of people and can bring home however much coffee I’d like.

I have 9 days until he comes home. And on that day, I have to go pick him up. We don’t know when the plane comes in, and I’m being serious. I don’t know the terminal. But I have to find some way to get his rent in because if it isn’t in by the day he comes home, he is up for immediate eviction and collection adding a total of $496 to his current rent bringing the current cost of living up to over $1,000.

We are in a world of shit. So I am going to be telling my mom to bring home around 17 boxes of a decent size and some duct tape from the factory. If this is how fucked up its gonna get, I ain’t gonna let him have all his shit thrown to the dogs. And if I can help it, he sure as hell ain’t gonna be living with the Harris’s or Birdwell’s. He’ll be with me. Unless…

A few girls at our work had an awesome deal going. $100 for a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house in the middle of P-Town. It was a great place, cozy and warm. Right next to the police station and only about a 30 minute walk from work. A 10 minute drive, including time wasted at stoplights. Mighty fine place. But they never paid rent, so the owner sold the place from under them. Its probably well on its way to being sold by the time he gets back, but he was gonna talk to the owner to see if he could halt the process and pay a little more. It would have been a great place for us and for another family here. But due to the daughter being on Medicaid, we can’t. She’d loose her benefits and her mom depends on those. The probability of all of this working out is low though…

Our next option, due to P-Town having nothing is Greenfield. But I wanna get on a lease with Matt, so he’d have to find a new home until I graduate. Or we can go to Anderson… But he’d hate that…

A decent idea is him living with me at my parents but him going for that isn’t likely. And my mom liking that is even less likely… Dad? Lets not talk about him. He’s gone. Maybe not physically but mentally.

As for current ideals and shit, I just want him to have a place to call home. Without owing debt to his friends. I mean, goddamnit, its the beginning of OUR life not everyone elses.

And as if all this shit wasn’t bad enough if we leave now, he breaks lease. And we don’t have enough time to pack if they go for immediate eviction. And he’ll get an attorney to fight this but the fact is I don’t think we have a chance in this case. I wish it was as easy as just saying “Fuck you guys!” But its not. He’s loosing this apartment.

I heard I can sign the money order and everything would be good but I am not anywhere close to having a power of attorney. I’m not legally one, I am not his fiancée, or his wife. I should, legally, stay out of it and let him loose his home but thats the thing….

I spend so much time being this Military Wife In Training that I do everything. And this is no different from my normal life. I’m always the one who ends up doing these kinds of things because its what is easy and what is expected. I would’ve faired better in the 40’s or 50’s. Honestly…

I want to stand by him as his wife, and yes I said it, WIFE. I don’t want another place in this world….

And on a small note, I hope he knows that this course is step one in becoming an NCO… And if he makes an NCO rank? Cool. But when that contract is up, its up. No re-upping.